Ode to Treatbot

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A lot of great things have happened on El Camino Real this year, but without a doubt one of the most innovative new additions is our friend Treatbot, the Karaoke-sporting local flavor ice cream truck from the future. They used Calvin’s on The Alameda as their commissary home base and brought their automatic joy to many great events on El Camino this past year like parties at Calvin’s and The Usuals, and South FIRST Fridays and other art events down in San Jose’s SoFA District. I’ve enjoyed chatting with owners Ryan and Christine and have really come to appreciate the imagination, drive, and hometown spirit they’ve brought to the streets of the Bay Area.

This past week Treatbot has been tweeting that Saturday, November 13 was going to be their last night of operation for 2010. I took that to mean they were going to hibernate over the winter, perhaps figuring that demand for sidewalk ice cream might decline as the days got colder. Understandable, but we would miss them. My wife and I made plans to see them off Saturday night at the San Jose Museum of Art, then I got a devilish idea.

Treatbot has an extensive Karaoke song collection. Recently they put a sign up in their window along the lines of:

Karaoke tip suggestion
Any song … $1
“My Way” … $20

I figured it was an inside joke, like the “No Stairway to Heaven” gag in “Wayne’s World.” Denied!

So my evil genius idea was that I would sing Frank Sinatra’s classic “My Way” for Treatbot Saturday night…with a twist. Here’s what I sang (and yes, I paid the $20):

Treatbot

And now, the end is near;
I go to buy your last unsold cone.
Alas. Until next year
I’ll have to eat that crap at Cold Stone*.

All through two thousand ten
This silver van hit ev’ry sweet spot.
For now, I say farewell.
I’ll miss you, Treatbot.

Mishaps, you’ve had a few,
But there is one I hate to mention.
That time your oil pan blew,
Transmission too, and smoked your engine.

But still you persevered
And even launched your little Streetbot.
But chalk does not taste good.
I’ll miss you, Treatbot.

Oh Treatbot yes! I scream for you!
Horchata rocks! And Ube doo bay doo!
But let there be no more debate.
The best of all is 408!
Down in San Jo’ I hope you know,
We’ll miss you, Treatbot.

And tunes. I’ve sung ’em all.
“Dahil Sa Iyo” to “Cucaracha.”
And you, you had a ball
As long as it’s not Frank Sinatra.

A karaoke ice cream party truck;
I must admit, that was a neat thought.
You really got the scoop.
I’ll miss you, Treatbot.

Too bad for us we’re not insane
Enough to stand out eating ice cream in the rain.
So now you’ve gone to your cocoon
And you’ll emerge. I hope it’s soon.
Until you tweet, “Back on the street!”
I’ll miss you, Treatbot!

Yes, I’ll miss you, Treatbot.

Copyright 2010 by Bill Moore

I was up all night rewriting the words, but it was just a brainstorm that wouldn’t let go. I had no choice; once the idea was in my head I had to make it happen. I sang fueled completely by adrenalin…and a double-scoop of chocolate fantasy on a sugar cone. (They ran out of my favorite flavor, 408.) I’ll upload video as soon as I edit it to add the lyrics as subtitles.

As it turns out, Treatbot will still be around the South Bay this winter, but not exactly as we know it. Heavenly Ski Resort in Lake Tahoe is taking it over. They’ve already given the van a Heavenly makeover and will be handing out snow cones and selling ski lift passes for the rest of the year. Treatbot will still be a party, just a party of a different flavor. Still I’m looking forward to their emergence in the Spring. Save a scoop of 408 for me.

* To my good friends at Cold Stone…just kidding! See you for my free scoop on my birthday!

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